Shampoo

Went on a girl's night out with 3 of the teachers from school in 수원시 (Suwon). It was a freaky Friday, starting off with some noraebang in Jukjeon. Be advised to never sing this*. Very alienating and kills all atmosphere -



Shampoo Night Club in Suwon occupies the 9th and 10th floor of a usual Korean city cube. I've never danced so far off the ground, nor in such a setting. The establishment had a 70s look to it. It wasn't a club as such - there was a floor for dancing, but most of the space was taken by chattering tables below rows of shut doors, 'private rooms' I was told, for people who didn't want to hear the music.

A traditional Korean club runs like this - when the lights are off, you talk and drink at your table while Celine Dion plays through the PA. Then, kazam, lights on, and everyone rushes at the behest of the DJ/MC, manning a TARDIS like CD deck suspended from the ceiling, standing on the stage above the dancefloor. I tell you, there's nothing quite like dancing to a happy house remix of the omega pop terminator that is 'Sorry Sorry' by Super Junior. They also played bloody 'Who Let The Dogs Out?' so it all had the charm of a school disco to me until - lights off/on - 3 strippers came out, but even they were Disney approved, miming to speedy chipmunk Euro trash when not chatting with the drunk men congregated below at their high heels. I really didn't know where to look - lights off before anything cupped was exposed.



The next act was a bunch of lads miming to a medley of Korean boy band hits, sporting shades and baggy orange trousers. 'SexyBack' got thrown in, and 'Sorry Sorry'. Again. Shampoo has a habit of playing certain songs around 4 or 5 times, but everyone was happy. The floor was always busy.

A muscly 50 something with a crew cut was pounding his beefy arms away in a vest during the boyband set, wearing superspy sunglasses, alone and beaming up at the young lads. This image will stay with me for a long time. Then lights off.

I was walking back to our booth when a Korean guy latches me in a bear grip around my shoulders and asks my name, if I have a girlfriend. I say no and he brings me to his private room.

Being one of those idiots, I assumed he was going to introduce me to a few nice looking girls. There were 2 in there, along with a host of guys, karaoke machine at the front, dining table between 2 benches. No one spoke English, but they all seemed friendly. I sat as the guy told me his English name was Michael, or George Michael. I just laughed this off, accepting his shot of whiskey. George then told me to get up because it was time to dance again outside. His friend in a sharp suit gave me a mic to sing something English as I walked out but the host pulled me along - we just had to dance, so his friend tagged along too.

Thing is, the lights were still off. The music was still slow. And yet there was just us 3 in front of all the chattering tables, right in the middle of the stage, dancing away. Confused I tried to be enthusiastic as the 2 drunks showed off some unabashed boy band routines, clapping hands, George kicking out his legs like a cossack. Lights on - the other teachers came to the stage and quite rightly pointed at me laughing. I beckoned my new friends to join their group, so we all danced for a bit, but then my new buds just walked off, whispering. I found out today they asked my friend as well if he had a girlfriend or not. He figured them out straight off.

I wasn't so dumb when leaving Shampoo around 4 I had a guy say hi to me with a very flashy grin...and then there was the bouncer outside who could only say one thing to me in English -

'I love you'.

I blame the language barrier for my earlier idiocy. And hey, they were pretty smashed too, so...

Ah, Shampoo. I've never felt so wanted.

*nor sing 'Round Round' by Sugababes. Too tricky.